some thoughts on love

Frank Zappa once said “It’s better to have something to remember than nothing to regret...”

It’s funny how I still look for qualities of her in other people, but the person she is now is confusing, and who I was in love with is no more.  I was in love with who she was, not who she is. I would be chasing a pipe dream, a fairy tale, which includes a time machine.

I have found that it’s hard not to compare someone to another that you liked so much. You just love every quality about that person who you “fell in love with” - that you want someone to be the same, so you still have the person that you lost.

I used to tell people that I have no regrets, and would never regret anything in life. Now I see I just needed to grow up and realise that regrets are simply failures, and failures are a necessary part of life because we all learn from our mistakes. If we keep making the same mistakes and never learning from them, then we are a failure! So I can safely say I regret some things that I have done in my past but I have learned and don’t ever count the memories as failures because I have learned... and moved on.

“Love is blind

I want it all tonight and love is blind

Falls in love with itself again like it never should the way it always can

Oh and she is mine but the world is so much bigger now

Oh tell me should I hold her hand and give her love or take her heart and throw it far away?”

- pulp

I used to believe in this thing called fate, or destiny. A romantic Romeo and Juliet, and Monte and Veronica etc. But now I feel a little jaded, maybe agnostic to the idea. But choice used to seem so unromantic, as if some mystic force was not behind the meeting of two beautiful individuals. But now I think choice is now the greater of the two simply for this fact: by choosing someone you are saying that out of all the people in the entire world I have decided that I want you to be a part of my life and no one else. No haphazard circumstance, no chance meetings where distant planets align... Its simply two rational individuals who make a choice and an effort to remain together. And for years I have convinced myself that choice is the better of the two. But for now I want to believe in fate, that there is someone out there created with me in mind and vice versa.